I grew up in a house with 3 phones. One in my parents' room, one in my dad's office, and one in the kitchen with a 15+ foot cord. That was the one we were relegated to use. It could stretch around the corner and down the hallway but privacy was at a premium because it couldn't quite reach my bedroom. Some families got a second line for the teenagers. We didn't.
As my first child approached those teenage years I began to ponder the second line concept for our home. But then, in the blink of an eye, telephone technology changed. House phones became cordless and you could walk around the house (and even the yard) with one. My car phone, once hard-wired into our car, became mobile and grew smaller... the prices went way down... and it seemed that every man, woman, teenager, and child on the block had one in their pocket or purse! Family plans, mobile-to-mobile minutes, roaming fees, and text minutes replaced land lines and local and long distance carriers. We could talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime...
Years ago there was a commercial that said "Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages!" (Who even uses those big bulky Yellow Page Books anymore? I've been meaning to write them and tell them what a waste of time, money and paper it is to keep leaving them on my doorstep.) Ninety-five percent of the information we need we can literally hold in the palm of our hands... and have it with just a few quick movements of our fingers!
And now we don't even have to use our mouths to communicate to others with these small devices!
In this new world of communicative technology, our fingers (mostly thumbs) have become our mouthpieces!! Texting, tweeting on Twitter, emailing, IMing (instant messaging for those few who don't know), blogging... all great new forms of communicating and connecting with others... and without a sound... okay, maybe a few click, click, clicks... Are we still living out loud (LOL) or as a recent cell phone commercial asks "Can you HEAR me now??"
The other day my 21-year-old son was sitting in the family room having a "conversation" with a friend. He told me he was asking her on a date.
"But, I didn't hear you talking to anyone?" I questioned him.
"I texted her, Mom!" he returned.
"So you didn't even call her on your cell phone?"
"Nobody does that."
Hmmm... I wonder if they will talk out loud on their date??
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Life Lessons Learned in a Rodeo
The little red Rodeo is gone. Hooray!! We sold it a few weeks ago... just a couple of hours after putting a sign on it... signed, sealed, delivered, it's theirs! No sellers remorse here. I thought it was long overdue to get rid of it. It was already 10 years old when we bought it. Each of my three boys drove it. Matt drove it until he left for college in Hawaii. Jon drove it to work every day one summer with the air conditioning broken and never complained. It was getting pretty beat up by the time Josh got it. I asked him one day if he wanted a newer car and he said "No way, I love the Rodeo. Who cares if it's old! I'm happy to drive it!" Wow...
I realized then that my children are much wiser and more insightful than I am. Yes, my kids learned some great life lessons because of that Rodeo. They didn't care if most of their friends were given new cars when they turned 16. Their self-image wasn't tied to what kind of car they drove. They didn't have feelings of entitlement as so many of their generation do. (And I personally believe it is fueled by their parents giving them too much.) They learned how to take care of a car, to do the maintenance on it, and to work on the engine and all the other moving parts. With the help of a kind home teacher, they rebuilt and fixed the air conditioning system. And boy did they appreciate the flow of cold air on their faces after driving it for months without!!
And now Jon has bought his first truck. It's almost new and nothing fancy. A part of me just wanted to hand him the money and say "We'll pay for it... you deserve it!" But, no, we held back as we watched him work and struggle to pay for it with his hard earned money. His pride of ownership shows with the big smile on his face! He knows the value of a dollar. And the accomplished feeling of hard work. He says it was worth the wait!
It really is true that if you make your children's life a little harder, they will have a much better life! In a world of everything being so instant it is so hard to teach them to wait. And I find myself saying the same thing my parents said to me when I was a kid: "Wait until you grow up, then you'll appreciate it more." Child psychologists claim we need to teach our children this theory of delayed gratification for them to have happy and successful lives.
I agree... let them grow up and still have things to dream about...
I realized then that my children are much wiser and more insightful than I am. Yes, my kids learned some great life lessons because of that Rodeo. They didn't care if most of their friends were given new cars when they turned 16. Their self-image wasn't tied to what kind of car they drove. They didn't have feelings of entitlement as so many of their generation do. (And I personally believe it is fueled by their parents giving them too much.) They learned how to take care of a car, to do the maintenance on it, and to work on the engine and all the other moving parts. With the help of a kind home teacher, they rebuilt and fixed the air conditioning system. And boy did they appreciate the flow of cold air on their faces after driving it for months without!!
And now Jon has bought his first truck. It's almost new and nothing fancy. A part of me just wanted to hand him the money and say "We'll pay for it... you deserve it!" But, no, we held back as we watched him work and struggle to pay for it with his hard earned money. His pride of ownership shows with the big smile on his face! He knows the value of a dollar. And the accomplished feeling of hard work. He says it was worth the wait!
It really is true that if you make your children's life a little harder, they will have a much better life! In a world of everything being so instant it is so hard to teach them to wait. And I find myself saying the same thing my parents said to me when I was a kid: "Wait until you grow up, then you'll appreciate it more." Child psychologists claim we need to teach our children this theory of delayed gratification for them to have happy and successful lives.
I agree... let them grow up and still have things to dream about...
Monday, June 8, 2009
A College Degree?
Matt is in the home stretch... one more semester until he graduates with his BS in Computer Science. He would have been finished by now but the disadvantage of a small college (BYU-H) is they don't offer a lot of senior level classes during the spring and summer terms. And the advantage? More time for sun and surf. Rough life, I say. His house is walking distance to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world! But, to his credit, a Computer Science Degree is no cake walk! Physics and more physics and lots of tough classes. A couple of months ago when he told me he wanted to change his major I stopped breathing for a moment. "Oh, no! You're soooo close to being done," I gasped! Yeah, I admit early on I hoped he'd be a doctor (or lawyer--he likes to argue a lot!). But, as parents, you have to let them explore and figure it out themselves. I mean when he was 18 he wanted to be a rock star! So, I'm thinking, Computer Science is good! Really good! And a VERY MARKETABLE degree to have even in this economy! And with his affinity for computers he will do just fine.
Now, Jon is home from his mission and trying to figure out his path of college travel. I'm just trying to bite my tongue. And Josh has 2 years to just concentrate on serving the Lord and not think about college.
When I was in college my parents insisted that I take classes that would give me marketable skills, too. I preferred more artsy stuff like interior design, creative writing, and flat pattern design (sewing). And, as a hopefully soon-to-be wife and mother, sprinkle in a little CDFR (Child Development/Family Relations) as it was called back then. So after 2 years of the "fun stuff" I switched over and dutifully took the shorthand (Now THAT's a real marketable skill nowadays! HA!) and business and accounting classes. And I sort of lost my focus and interest in college.
But, alas, I got my MRS Degree and not my BA or BS degree. And I've regretted it ever since. (Not the MRS part!) Yeah, sorry to admit, but my young adult social circle was more concerned about finding a husband than getting a college education. (Oh, the stories my roommates could tell you!) I'm so glad that this generation of young women seem to be more focused on getting their education while looking for a man. Good for them!
The years filled up with childbirth and children, church callings and service, keeping house and just keeping up, and not fun to mention, but several major surgeries and illnesses along the way. And I kept wondering when will it be MY time to go back and finish what I started at BYU over 25+ years ago? The guilt pricks me a little when I see those BYU TV commercials showing middle-aged women like me who've gone back and got their General Studies Degree through their online program. And I think to myself, "General Studies... too "generic" for me!" But it's better than no degree! So with the house a little quieter and emptier I probably could squeeze in some time for classes... That is after I help Katelyn with her schoolwork and stuff, fulfill my church calling and service, do the cooking and cleaning, laundry and ironing, and errands, and keep up the house...
I think I'm just too darn tired now.
Now, Jon is home from his mission and trying to figure out his path of college travel. I'm just trying to bite my tongue. And Josh has 2 years to just concentrate on serving the Lord and not think about college.
When I was in college my parents insisted that I take classes that would give me marketable skills, too. I preferred more artsy stuff like interior design, creative writing, and flat pattern design (sewing). And, as a hopefully soon-to-be wife and mother, sprinkle in a little CDFR (Child Development/Family Relations) as it was called back then. So after 2 years of the "fun stuff" I switched over and dutifully took the shorthand (Now THAT's a real marketable skill nowadays! HA!) and business and accounting classes. And I sort of lost my focus and interest in college.
But, alas, I got my MRS Degree and not my BA or BS degree. And I've regretted it ever since. (Not the MRS part!) Yeah, sorry to admit, but my young adult social circle was more concerned about finding a husband than getting a college education. (Oh, the stories my roommates could tell you!) I'm so glad that this generation of young women seem to be more focused on getting their education while looking for a man. Good for them!
The years filled up with childbirth and children, church callings and service, keeping house and just keeping up, and not fun to mention, but several major surgeries and illnesses along the way. And I kept wondering when will it be MY time to go back and finish what I started at BYU over 25+ years ago? The guilt pricks me a little when I see those BYU TV commercials showing middle-aged women like me who've gone back and got their General Studies Degree through their online program. And I think to myself, "General Studies... too "generic" for me!" But it's better than no degree! So with the house a little quieter and emptier I probably could squeeze in some time for classes... That is after I help Katelyn with her schoolwork and stuff, fulfill my church calling and service, do the cooking and cleaning, laundry and ironing, and errands, and keep up the house...
I think I'm just too darn tired now.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Cocoons and Butterflies
Science was never my favorite subject. But, nonetheless, I do remember learning (probably in 5th grade) about the amazing life cycle of butterflies. And ever since we dropped Josh off at the MTC I've been thinking about this metamorphosis analogy: Female butterflies (moms) lay eggs which grow into caterpillars. Caterpillars spend most of their time eating. (Like teenage boys!) A protective casing (family, the gospel) forms around the caterpillar during the stage that they are undergoing a transformation (from a teenager into a young missionary/elder of the church). A caterpillar enters the cocoon so that they will be protected from a harsh or unfriendly environment. Once they have grown strong enough, they emerge from the cocoon (home, or in this analogy, the MTC) to the outside world. A silk worm (or caterpiller) metamorphosis's into a beautiful butterfly. It has often been said that the most beautiful butterflies usually emerge from the ugliest cocoons. For this reason, many people consider the process of the cocoon to be a miracle of nature. (Many miracles happen in the MTC!) Josh has completed his metamorphosis and has now emerged from the MTC "cocoon", spread his wings, and flown to the Georgia Macon Mission to share the awesome message of the gospel! Wonderful new adventures await him there!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Invasion of the Giant Zucchinis
We finally see some signs of life (besides tomatoes) in our garden. Peppers are growing (look very closely and you can see several in the picture on the right). The corn is almost 3 feet high. And all of a sudden... hidden under the big leaves... GIGANTIC zucchinis everywhere! I think you're supposed to pick them when they're a little smaller?? I NEVER see ones this big at the grocery store. Ma
ybe it's all that Miracle Grow juice that Jon keeps putting on them. We've grilled them, fried them, baked them and just as I think we've used our last one....surprise... there's more growing! So now I'm shredding them up and freezing them to use later in the year.Anyone for a zucchini cookie??
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Phone Call vs The Letter
When you have a missionary out serving, Mothers' Days are extra special. The handmade cards are sweet. The breakfast cooked by the kids and husband is yummy. The gifts are great. But...
Nothing can compare to the excitement of the much anticipated PHONE CALL ! For the last 3 Mothers' Days I've had that "gift"... Matt from Argentina and Jon from Pennsylvania. We even finagled a three-way so we could all talk together when both sons were out serving! Emails and letters are great but there is nothing like hearing their voice. That amazing and spiritual young man you are talking to you swear is not the young boy you sent off! You can feel their strength of testimony through the phone lines. Or... if you are on your cell phone, that power bounces off the satellites right through the walls of your home and into your ear!!
Several of my friends have missionaries out and it was fun to hear about their calls... and the efforts to coordinate the timing of the calls from different time zones while trying to squeeze in their block of church and get extended family members together for the big event. Whew!
But, with Josh still in the MTC, I knew there would be no phone call at our house that day... If they let those thousands of missionaries in there make even a 5 minute phone call, it would probably overwhelm the phone grids all over Utah Valley! It would be a logistics nightmare! Matt called me from Hawaii so that was sorta like the "call". I always like to hear my children's voices.
But... Josh didn't forget about mom's day and I received the most wonderful letter from him this week! And it TOTALLY made up for not hearing his voice on Sunday! Because what is better than a handwritten note from your child thanking you for everything you've sacrificed for him and telling you how lucky he is to have the best mom in the world?? (I'm not bragging... just quoting him.) I had to chuckle when he said, "It's wierd...when I throw my clothes into the laundry here, they don't come out all nice and folded on my bed for me! And when I go to dinner not everything is edible... I'm not used to that!" And then he goes on to share his testimony and his feelings and how much he is learning and that he will do his best to "become the missionary you believe I am." And even though I can't hear him saying these things, I can feel him saying these things! And the tears are streaming down my face as I'm trying to read and he's writing that he doesn't know if he can totally relate to being one of the 2000 Stripling Warriors, but he slightly changes Alma 56:47-48 to read "I have been taught by my mother, that if I doubt not, God will deliver me...I do not doubt my mother knew it."
No words in a blog can describe what my heart feels... And since I wasn't blogging during the time Matt and Jon were serving their missions, just let me put into the record that I also received amazing hand-written letters from them during their time out serving and I also read them with tearing streaming down my face and feeling seriously blessed!
Nothing can compare to the excitement of the much anticipated PHONE CALL ! For the last 3 Mothers' Days I've had that "gift"... Matt from Argentina and Jon from Pennsylvania. We even finagled a three-way so we could all talk together when both sons were out serving! Emails and letters are great but there is nothing like hearing their voice. That amazing and spiritual young man you are talking to you swear is not the young boy you sent off! You can feel their strength of testimony through the phone lines. Or... if you are on your cell phone, that power bounces off the satellites right through the walls of your home and into your ear!!
Several of my friends have missionaries out and it was fun to hear about their calls... and the efforts to coordinate the timing of the calls from different time zones while trying to squeeze in their block of church and get extended family members together for the big event. Whew!
But, with Josh still in the MTC, I knew there would be no phone call at our house that day... If they let those thousands of missionaries in there make even a 5 minute phone call, it would probably overwhelm the phone grids all over Utah Valley! It would be a logistics nightmare! Matt called me from Hawaii so that was sorta like the "call". I always like to hear my children's voices.
But... Josh didn't forget about mom's day and I received the most wonderful letter from him this week! And it TOTALLY made up for not hearing his voice on Sunday! Because what is better than a handwritten note from your child thanking you for everything you've sacrificed for him and telling you how lucky he is to have the best mom in the world?? (I'm not bragging... just quoting him.) I had to chuckle when he said, "It's wierd...when I throw my clothes into the laundry here, they don't come out all nice and folded on my bed for me! And when I go to dinner not everything is edible... I'm not used to that!" And then he goes on to share his testimony and his feelings and how much he is learning and that he will do his best to "become the missionary you believe I am." And even though I can't hear him saying these things, I can feel him saying these things! And the tears are streaming down my face as I'm trying to read and he's writing that he doesn't know if he can totally relate to being one of the 2000 Stripling Warriors, but he slightly changes Alma 56:47-48 to read "I have been taught by my mother, that if I doubt not, God will deliver me...I do not doubt my mother knew it."
No words in a blog can describe what my heart feels... And since I wasn't blogging during the time Matt and Jon were serving their missions, just let me put into the record that I also received amazing hand-written letters from them during their time out serving and I also read them with tearing streaming down my face and feeling seriously blessed!
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Real Housewives
Sometimes late at night when I can't fall asleep I turn on the TV and watch totally obnoxious shows... like The Real Housewives of New York City or Orange County. It's kind of addicting watching these women and their over-the-top lives. And then, the other night, out of the blue, my husband asked me if I wished my life was like that. I was mortified that he would even think that!
I grew up in Orange County and I've been to New York City... and yeah, there's a lot of women like them... self-absorbed, botox-injected, plastic surgery enhanced, top designer dressed, and money and power obsessed. One "housewife" on the NYC version told her husband that she didn't want much for her birthday and then bought a purse for $16,000 (no, I didn't type too many 0's!) and then was also surprised with a new fully-loaded Mercedes SUV....and then complained that it didn't have everything she needed! These "housewives" have the average 1.5 kids who they send off to boarding schools, employ maids, personal trainers, and personal chefs, and spend most of their time worrying about being seen with the right people at the right parties. I'm sorry TV Show Producers... they may be hilarious to watch, but they are not real housewives by any stretch of the imagination!!
Let me tell you about the real housewives that I know...
Most "housewives" I know are college educated or have helped put their husbands through college at great sacrifice.
Some "housewives" I know have served 2 year missions for our church.
Many "housewives" I know are stay-at-home moms sacrificing their own desires for fame and fortune to be available 24/7 for their kids and knowing that "no success is worth failure in the home".
Many "housewives" I know work, not always because they want to, but because they have to.
Lots of "housewives" I know stay up all night taking care of sick babies and children.
One "housewife" I know spends many nights softly rocking her newly adopted little girl who is experiencing night terrors because of her memories of living in an orphanage in China.
Many "housewives" I know open their hearts to fostering and adopting children from other countries and here in Arizona.
One "housewife" I know lives each day with optimism and cheerfulness in spite of her husband's brain tumor.
Several "housewives" I know care for and help raise their grandchildren.
One "housewife" I know has ached to have a baby for many years and now is awaiting not one... but 2 miracles... twins to adopt.
Many "housewives" I know spend time working on their gardens and canning food for their families.
One "housewife" I know regularly bakes cookies with her children to deliver to an elderly lady who is paralysed with MS.
One "housewife" I know focuses much of her time and energy on finding answers and therapies to help her young daughter with a genetic disorder.
Most "housewives" I know spend time volunteering at schools, in the community, and for their churches.
Many "housewives" I know send out missionary sons and daughters to share the gospel knowing that they will miss them terribly.
Several "housewives" I know patiently teach and work with their learning-disabled children.
A few "housewives" I know tenderly care for aging parents.
Many "housewives" I know are finding ways to save money and feed their family on a tight budget.
Most "housewives" I know fill their days with kids, carpooling, cleaning, cooking, and Costco.
Most "housewives" I know don't own a $16,000 purse or even a $160 purse!
And all the "housewives" I know think that their job of being a wife and mother is the best job (and hardest) in the world!
What do all of the above "housewives" have in common??
Sacrifice... Service... Selflessness... Compassion... Patience... Charity... Faith... Hope.... and LOVE !!
It is the true essense of motherhood...
It is what the REAL HOUSEWIVES of Gilbert Arizona (and everywhere else for that matter) are doing day in and day out....
I love being a housewife and a mom... and, honey, I wouldn't trade it for all that other stuff!
Happy Mothers Day to my mom and all the moms (and housewives) out there!
I grew up in Orange County and I've been to New York City... and yeah, there's a lot of women like them... self-absorbed, botox-injected, plastic surgery enhanced, top designer dressed, and money and power obsessed. One "housewife" on the NYC version told her husband that she didn't want much for her birthday and then bought a purse for $16,000 (no, I didn't type too many 0's!) and then was also surprised with a new fully-loaded Mercedes SUV....and then complained that it didn't have everything she needed! These "housewives" have the average 1.5 kids who they send off to boarding schools, employ maids, personal trainers, and personal chefs, and spend most of their time worrying about being seen with the right people at the right parties. I'm sorry TV Show Producers... they may be hilarious to watch, but they are not real housewives by any stretch of the imagination!!
Let me tell you about the real housewives that I know...
Most "housewives" I know are college educated or have helped put their husbands through college at great sacrifice.
Some "housewives" I know have served 2 year missions for our church.
Many "housewives" I know are stay-at-home moms sacrificing their own desires for fame and fortune to be available 24/7 for their kids and knowing that "no success is worth failure in the home".
Many "housewives" I know work, not always because they want to, but because they have to.
Lots of "housewives" I know stay up all night taking care of sick babies and children.
One "housewife" I know spends many nights softly rocking her newly adopted little girl who is experiencing night terrors because of her memories of living in an orphanage in China.
Many "housewives" I know open their hearts to fostering and adopting children from other countries and here in Arizona.
One "housewife" I know lives each day with optimism and cheerfulness in spite of her husband's brain tumor.
Several "housewives" I know care for and help raise their grandchildren.
One "housewife" I know has ached to have a baby for many years and now is awaiting not one... but 2 miracles... twins to adopt.
Many "housewives" I know spend time working on their gardens and canning food for their families.
One "housewife" I know regularly bakes cookies with her children to deliver to an elderly lady who is paralysed with MS.
One "housewife" I know focuses much of her time and energy on finding answers and therapies to help her young daughter with a genetic disorder.
Most "housewives" I know spend time volunteering at schools, in the community, and for their churches.
Many "housewives" I know send out missionary sons and daughters to share the gospel knowing that they will miss them terribly.
Several "housewives" I know patiently teach and work with their learning-disabled children.
A few "housewives" I know tenderly care for aging parents.
Many "housewives" I know are finding ways to save money and feed their family on a tight budget.
Most "housewives" I know fill their days with kids, carpooling, cleaning, cooking, and Costco.
Most "housewives" I know don't own a $16,000 purse or even a $160 purse!
And all the "housewives" I know think that their job of being a wife and mother is the best job (and hardest) in the world!
What do all of the above "housewives" have in common??
Sacrifice... Service... Selflessness... Compassion... Patience... Charity... Faith... Hope.... and LOVE !!
It is the true essense of motherhood...
It is what the REAL HOUSEWIVES of Gilbert Arizona (and everywhere else for that matter) are doing day in and day out....
I love being a housewife and a mom... and, honey, I wouldn't trade it for all that other stuff!
Happy Mothers Day to my mom and all the moms (and housewives) out there!
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